It doesn't make much sense, but I hope you find it entertaining.
***
Humbert and Dolores were the happiest newlyweds the mouse community had ever seen. Humbert's respectable know-how, brains, and eloquence melded well with Dolores's innocent, docile, and admittedly stupid charm. They were always together, always squeaking about how marvelous the other was and how much more one loved the other. In fact, it shortly made their relatives and everyone around them sick. And so, when they declared that they were going far, far away for an everlasting honeymoon, nobody had any complaints.
"Oooh, sweetie, let's, um, go to that place! The one with all the lights and people and big loud fast things! You know? That fun place! Let's go there for our honeymoon!" squeaked Dolores with soft, excited intensity.
"Yes, the fun place indeed!" said Humbert agreeably. "It's that amusement park you're referring to, Dolly. Its amusing atmosphere and charm provide the ideal environment for a happy couple such as ourselves."
"I know! You speak so nicely!"
"You blink so nicely!"
"You breathe so nicely!"
"You pronounce your consonants so nicely!"
And the praise went on and on, like always. The two had seen the amusement park whilst exploring the land on one of their adventures. Dolores wanted to venture into the park immediately back when she first laid eyes on the glowing paradise, but Humbert wanted to save it for a special time in the future, like their on honeymoon.
The couple packed the appropriate provisions and departed. After several hours of traveling and a few minor complications (Dolores had lost her red bow and mistook a snake for it), the endearing couple arrived at the theme park and decided to stay in the "Whirlygig" because Dolores thought the name was fun. Which it was.
The two lovebirds vacationed in the ride for days on end. They lived behind a fake tree; the ride had a forest theme and was very thrilling. The mice were very amused by the humans who passed by in a cart looking excited and very happy.
"They're happy because they know how much we love each other! Am I right?" asked Dolores.
"You're absolutely right! They are screaming with approval, yet also with envy of our love! Oho ho!" Humbert exclaimed jovially.
One day, the atmosphere of the Whirlygig turned eerie. No happy humans went by, and an air of foreboding pervaded throughout the fun, fake forest. Humbert overheard some of the amusement park staff say something about "numerous mouse droppings" and "pest control". Humbert, being the educated mouse that he was, knew exactly what had to be done.
"Dolly, honey, we have to get out of here. It's not safe! They know we're here, and they're sending someone to get rid of us!" Humbert explained to his wife with solemn ardor.
"Wait, what? Oh my goodness! That is awful! Whatever will we --"
Dolores was cut off by a loud thudding noise. It was the man from pest control shutting the door of his van. The mice could see it through the entrance of the Whirlygig.
"Hello, ma'am," he said to one of the staff. "So, you've got a mouse problem, huh? Or is it rats?"
"I don't know. But we found so many droppings around the ride, we figured something's made a home of the place."
"Well, alright, I'll set up some traps and put some poison around." The man's stomach growled. "Oh, it's almost dinner time. Heh heh. Lemme go get my sandwich." He went back into his van and brought out an enormous sandwich. "There we -- Oh, what was...?" He looked towards the ride, where the mice were vacationing. The man thought he saw a flash of white. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, put it on the hood of his vehicle, and placed his sandwich on top of it. "I saw one! Right there! Just where you said!" The man grabbed all of his tools and headed towards the ride. "I'll get started right away."
Meanwhile, Humbert and Dolores were watching the man intently. When they saw him come towards their dwelling, they decided to conceal themselves inside an animatronic lumberjack's mouth.
"Here he comes, here he comes! Oh God, now he's putting things on the ground!" said Dolores, filled with fear.
"Those are mouse traps, Dolly. They use them to lure us in, and then SNAP! We're trapped, and then they kill us." Humbert was well-versed in most everything.
"What's that stuff he's sprinkling everywhere?"
"Oh, that's poison. If we eat that, we'll die." Humbert sighed. "Well, he certainly wins the 'sneaky murderous bastard' award."
The man, now finished, exited the ride and disappeared. The mice thought it safe to come out.
Suddenly, an extremely loud and violent noise filled their ears. But they thought nothing of it, because they are mice.
Dolores was examining the poison. "Hey, what's this stuff made of?" she asked, but due to the deafening and mysterious noise, Humbert didn't hear her. She did not realize this.
"Yes, this belongs to our winner," he said, indicating the poison and referring back to his previous comment about the exterminator.
"Oh, that makes sense! Will do!" she yelled over the din of the noise, which oddly didn't concern either of them. She grabbed a handful of poison and ran off.
"Dolores! Where are y-- hey! Dolores!!" Humbert frantically waved his arms, trying to get his dim wife's attention. He saw her skip over to the exterminator's van, leap onto the hood, slip the poison into the sandwich, and run back just in time to escape the man's notice. He came out from behind his van wearing a gas mask and holding an extremely intimidating device from which the extremely loud noise was coming from.
"Oh, hey! Forgot about my sandwich! I'm starvin'!" he said, removing his gas mask. Humbert watched with horror as the man bit into his sandwich with relish. He chewed, swallowed, looked at his sandwich as if it just called him a name, and fell down onto the ground with a thump.
"Oh! My God! Dolores, why on earth did you do that?!" he asked his wife, who was now approaching him.
"Why, you told me to! Moments ago, dearest," she said earnestly, looking concerned.
"I said nothing of the sort!" Humbert exclaimed, offended. He thought back to the moment Dolores left. "Actually, all I said was, 'Yes, this belongs to our winner'!"
"What! I thought you said, 'Yes, go slip it in his dinner'!"
"What!? Absolutely not!" he screamed at her, his face contorted with rage. He calmed himself down. "Let's just go see if he's all right." The mice quickly pattered over to the horizontal man.
"I'll just feel his pulse," Humbert said with anxiety. "Nothing." He lowered his head with sorrow. "I feel nothing! He has no pulse! He's dead! You've killed him, sweetie! He's dead!"
"Oh NOOO!" yelled Dolores in anguish. She sat down and sobbed.
"Oooh, sweetie, let's, um, go to that place! The one with all the lights and people and big loud fast things! You know? That fun place! Let's go there for our honeymoon!" squeaked Dolores with soft, excited intensity.
"Yes, the fun place indeed!" said Humbert agreeably. "It's that amusement park you're referring to, Dolly. Its amusing atmosphere and charm provide the ideal environment for a happy couple such as ourselves."
"I know! You speak so nicely!"
"You blink so nicely!"
"You breathe so nicely!"
"You pronounce your consonants so nicely!"
And the praise went on and on, like always. The two had seen the amusement park whilst exploring the land on one of their adventures. Dolores wanted to venture into the park immediately back when she first laid eyes on the glowing paradise, but Humbert wanted to save it for a special time in the future, like their on honeymoon.
The couple packed the appropriate provisions and departed. After several hours of traveling and a few minor complications (Dolores had lost her red bow and mistook a snake for it), the endearing couple arrived at the theme park and decided to stay in the "Whirlygig" because Dolores thought the name was fun. Which it was.
The two lovebirds vacationed in the ride for days on end. They lived behind a fake tree; the ride had a forest theme and was very thrilling. The mice were very amused by the humans who passed by in a cart looking excited and very happy.
"They're happy because they know how much we love each other! Am I right?" asked Dolores.
"You're absolutely right! They are screaming with approval, yet also with envy of our love! Oho ho!" Humbert exclaimed jovially.
One day, the atmosphere of the Whirlygig turned eerie. No happy humans went by, and an air of foreboding pervaded throughout the fun, fake forest. Humbert overheard some of the amusement park staff say something about "numerous mouse droppings" and "pest control". Humbert, being the educated mouse that he was, knew exactly what had to be done.
"Dolly, honey, we have to get out of here. It's not safe! They know we're here, and they're sending someone to get rid of us!" Humbert explained to his wife with solemn ardor.
"Wait, what? Oh my goodness! That is awful! Whatever will we --"
Dolores was cut off by a loud thudding noise. It was the man from pest control shutting the door of his van. The mice could see it through the entrance of the Whirlygig.
"Hello, ma'am," he said to one of the staff. "So, you've got a mouse problem, huh? Or is it rats?"
"I don't know. But we found so many droppings around the ride, we figured something's made a home of the place."
"Well, alright, I'll set up some traps and put some poison around." The man's stomach growled. "Oh, it's almost dinner time. Heh heh. Lemme go get my sandwich." He went back into his van and brought out an enormous sandwich. "There we -- Oh, what was...?" He looked towards the ride, where the mice were vacationing. The man thought he saw a flash of white. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, put it on the hood of his vehicle, and placed his sandwich on top of it. "I saw one! Right there! Just where you said!" The man grabbed all of his tools and headed towards the ride. "I'll get started right away."
Meanwhile, Humbert and Dolores were watching the man intently. When they saw him come towards their dwelling, they decided to conceal themselves inside an animatronic lumberjack's mouth.
"Here he comes, here he comes! Oh God, now he's putting things on the ground!" said Dolores, filled with fear.
"Those are mouse traps, Dolly. They use them to lure us in, and then SNAP! We're trapped, and then they kill us." Humbert was well-versed in most everything.
"What's that stuff he's sprinkling everywhere?"
"Oh, that's poison. If we eat that, we'll die." Humbert sighed. "Well, he certainly wins the 'sneaky murderous bastard' award."
The man, now finished, exited the ride and disappeared. The mice thought it safe to come out.
Suddenly, an extremely loud and violent noise filled their ears. But they thought nothing of it, because they are mice.
Dolores was examining the poison. "Hey, what's this stuff made of?" she asked, but due to the deafening and mysterious noise, Humbert didn't hear her. She did not realize this.
"Yes, this belongs to our winner," he said, indicating the poison and referring back to his previous comment about the exterminator.
"Oh, that makes sense! Will do!" she yelled over the din of the noise, which oddly didn't concern either of them. She grabbed a handful of poison and ran off.
"Dolores! Where are y-- hey! Dolores!!" Humbert frantically waved his arms, trying to get his dim wife's attention. He saw her skip over to the exterminator's van, leap onto the hood, slip the poison into the sandwich, and run back just in time to escape the man's notice. He came out from behind his van wearing a gas mask and holding an extremely intimidating device from which the extremely loud noise was coming from.
"Oh, hey! Forgot about my sandwich! I'm starvin'!" he said, removing his gas mask. Humbert watched with horror as the man bit into his sandwich with relish. He chewed, swallowed, looked at his sandwich as if it just called him a name, and fell down onto the ground with a thump.
"Oh! My God! Dolores, why on earth did you do that?!" he asked his wife, who was now approaching him.
"Why, you told me to! Moments ago, dearest," she said earnestly, looking concerned.
"I said nothing of the sort!" Humbert exclaimed, offended. He thought back to the moment Dolores left. "Actually, all I said was, 'Yes, this belongs to our winner'!"
"What! I thought you said, 'Yes, go slip it in his dinner'!"
"What!? Absolutely not!" he screamed at her, his face contorted with rage. He calmed himself down. "Let's just go see if he's all right." The mice quickly pattered over to the horizontal man.
"I'll just feel his pulse," Humbert said with anxiety. "Nothing." He lowered his head with sorrow. "I feel nothing! He has no pulse! He's dead! You've killed him, sweetie! He's dead!"
"Oh NOOO!" yelled Dolores in anguish. She sat down and sobbed.
Oh, what a deceptively cute story that suddenly becomes tragic! I love the little touches that give your stories such charm like how they always "squeak" about how marvelous the other one is and setting up how the wife is somewhat dim as foreshadowing. One or two tense switches, but other than that, another excellent animal adventure!
ReplyDeleteAnother fun piece with wonderful descriptions, amusing dialogue,and never-saw-it-coming conclusion. Well done, Macks!
ReplyDeletefunny story
ReplyDeleteNice work, Macks. The cheeriness of the mice is infectious, and I find myself feeling giddier after reading. I think it is amazing that you can blend a mix of people knowledge and animal ideas, and make it seem so effortless. I can only conclude that you are Eliza Thornberry.
ReplyDelete